Distance
by IDareYouToLoveMe
Summary: Harry and Draco care deeply for each other, may even love each other, but is that enough? They've kept their relationship a secret so far, but can it survive the coming war? Sometimes, people just need some distance.


A/N Hello! This is my first ever fanfiction. It's really more of a short emotional scene that would take place in a story that I've thought about writing. There's more to this author's note at the end, but I think I'll let you get on with reading it first. Enjoy!

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><p><strong>Distance<strong>

Harry had woken up about twenty minutes ago, but was lost in thought thinking about everything that had happened that year. The sun was starting to glance through the window and drew attention to the clothes strewn on the floor: their disarray evidence of what had taken place last night, what always took place when they met in the room of requirement. Harry wondered if there was an actual window on the castle that let the light in, or whether it was all just part of the magic of the room.

Harry glanced at his watch and realised everyone would getting up soon. _Ron and Hermione are going to ask where I was, again, _Harry thought. His gaze drifted to Draco, as it often did those days. His eyes traced over Draco's features, memorising them as though they were the answers to all of his problems, as though they were the meaning to Harry's life – _they probably were, _he chuckled solemnly. Draco's eye lashes cast shadows across his delicately pale skin. Harry's eyes followed the gentle curve of his neck and down the hard panes of the sculpted slim muscles of lover's delectable body; his leg was resting over Harry's, and his arm curled around the Gryffindor's waist. Draco's head lay on Harry's chest.

Harry sighed. He brought his hand up to trace the barely there laughter lines at the side of Draco's eyes. Harry loved Draco's laugh, not just the sound of it, but the fact that it was really only Harry who heard it. Draco took his mask off around Harry.

_I'm putting him in danger._

Harry's calloused hand gently cupped Draco's face, "We can't do this anymore, Draco."

Draco's eyelids fluttered open at Harry's voice, "What...?" Draco looked up at him, his eyes screwing up again against the light. He put his head back down. "Potter, go back to sleep, it's Saturday for Merlin's sake," he mumbled as he snuggled back into Harry's side more comfortably, his arm tightening around Harry's waist and breath blowing over Harry's naked skin as he huffed. Harry rolled his eyes exasperatedly. After a few more minutes Harry brushed his fingers through Draco's soft hair.

"We need to talk Draco."

The resigned and sad tone to Harry's voice was what woke Draco.

The Slytherin opened his eyes, now awake. He locked his gaze with Harry's as he brought himself up onto his elbows either side of Harry's chest, his hand coming up to hold Harry's hand where it rested on his face. "I'm listening."

"These past few months have been... have been something out of a dream – "

"You're not going to say something terribly sappy like 'we have to wake up now though', are you? Because I don't think I can deal with your mush this early in the morning, Potter."

"No," Harry smiled at him contently, "I wasn't going to say that because I know this isn't a dream. This is real. And to be honest, before this year I don't think even I could have dreamt of something like this happening."

Draco sniggered. "What, you didn't lie in bed wondering what it would be like to take it up the arse from a Malfoy? Aspiring Death Eater and all round devil incarnate?" he grinned sarcastically.

Harry glared half-heartedly. "No." He leered suggestively in a very Malfoyish fashion, "Besides, you love me pounding you into any available surface way more often than I do, you're lazy like that."

Draco huffed dismissively, looking away. A move Harry recognised as mild embarrassment.

Harry brought Draco's face to look at him again. "You and I both know a war is coming."

Draco frowned, thinking back on previous conversations, "Is this about keeping us a secret? Because you know we can't tell anyone, all hell would break loose."

"No, I know you're right. It's way too dangerous for that; especially with the mission Voldemort gave you to carry out this year, the one you've been carrying out. You're expected to complete it, there's no other way around it."

"And you're okay with me murdering Dumbledore? The Leader of the Light?"

Harry looked away, in thought. "Dumbledore knows," he turned back to Draco's piercing steel eyes, "I know he knows. The way he's been acting this year – it's like he knows he's going to die."

Draco's hand gripped Harry's tighter, "I can't do it Harry, I can't."

Harry squeezed his hand back, "I don't think you'll have to. Remember that time around Christmas, when Snape harassed you about that Unbreakable Vow he took to look after you? I think it involves him completing the task if you can't do it yourself. And I think he told Dumbledore about it."

Draco's eyes widened in understanding, "But how will he continue to spy for the Order? Everyone will turn against him. And you won't be able to defend him, not without – "

"Not without giving you away," Harry finished. "I don't know, maybe I'll contact him. Or maybe I'll kill Voldemort soon, and then I can defend the both of you, they'll have believe me."

Harry looked more intently at Draco. "There's something else. When I've been having my lessons with them, my training, I see the odd look between them. There're secrets there – stuff their not telling me. I'm going to find out, I need to. Something's coming, something's going to happen, and I can feel it. And when it does I ... I can't risk you, Draco. We can't do this anymore. You've come to mean too much to me. I need some distance, time to get you out of my head, to concentrate on getting rid of the bastard."

"What...? But Harry, you got the hang of Occlumency. You had more lessons this year with Severus, he taught you. He told me you had mastered it now. Voldemort can't possibly find out. He can't get in your mind anymore."

"But what if he does?" Harry said desperately, "What if does, Draco? It would be so easy for him to get hold of you, and use you to get to me. And it would work, Draco, it would. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you, I'd rather die than lose you Draco."

Draco held Harry tighter, "Harry..."

"And it's not just that anymore Draco. It's Ron and Hermione, they're going to find out, I just know they are." Harry wrapped his arms tighter around Draco. "And when they do, they're going to make me take you to Professor Dumbledore. And I know that'll just be the first step of you switching to our side. I just know that's what going to happen. Ron will want you to hand over information. Hell, even Professor Dumbledore will manipulate you, and use you like he does Snape. And I can't have that happen to you, you're too strong to be used, Draco, you're better than that."

"So? I've told you everything this year. What's the difference?"

"The difference is that I know you. They won't understand why you've done the things you've done this year. I've forgiven you for the things you've done in the past, they won't. Neither will they forgive me for not telling them, or at least understand why I've _let_ you do those things this year; the cursed necklace and that vanishing cabinet. Not to mention the poisoned wine, I mean, Ron nearly died. They just won't understand why you had to do those things... your family... And I can't risk that." Harry knew he was starting to ramble, but he just had to explain what had been on his mind. "They'll feel betrayed, and I need them. With the horcruxes... I just need them."

Harry sighed, "And if they do eventually trust you enough, they're going to want you on our side completely, to keep an eye on you. And I can't have you switch sides Draco, I just feel like that would be the wrong thing to do right now, and you know I always follow my instincts."

Draco sat up abruptly, staring at Harry in disbelief, "Why not? I'll join your side. Fuck, Harry! I basically have any way! You're shagging me. If that isn't me on your side, I don't know what is." Draco calmed, and stared imploringly at Harry, "You know I don't support that maniac anymore, after what happened last summer..."

Harry sat up. "I know that Draco. But you don't understand. We need some distance, well, I do. There's just too much going on in my head, I feel like I'm going to explode with all these emotions... All these directions I'm being pulled. My training, the horcruxes... I'm not as strong as you, I can't deal with so much," Harry held his chest as if his heart were breaking, "I just... I just can't have you fighting on our side. I know it sounds stupid, but it makes sense in my head. I wish I could take you away and hide you, but I know you'd never let me do that.

"When the battle comes - and I know it will - you'll be safer on their side, where your father can protect you, and you know he will. You know the light side are less like likely to fight with dark spells. If you're by my side - where I'd want you to be - the dark side will see you as a traitor, they'd kill you. Please, I can't risk that. I'll need to protect you if you're near me. Voldemort will see."

Draco curled his fists, his anger and indignation evident in his voice. "I don't need protecting Harry, I'm not some little wife on your arm! And have you thought about me? How I will feel, fighting on the opposite side to you? What? You think you're the only one allowed to care? Oh poor little scar face, his boyfriend needs him too much, distracts him too much. Can't have that can we? No, the great Harry Potter needs to have his moment when he finally defeats the Dark Lord..."

Harry stared wide eyed, then slowly calmed himself, he knew this was Draco's way of dealing: being defensive.

Draco sneered, "Well fuck you. I don't need you looking out for me. I'll fight where I want... And for _who_ I want."

Draco got up and roughly started pulling on his clothes.

"Stop Draco!" Harry quickly got up and fell over himself and the bed cover to get to Draco, wrapping his arms around him in an effort to calm Draco down. The Slytherin struggled for a minute, but eventually stopped, his heavy breathing resuming to a gentle rhythm in sync with Harry's. His head rested under Harry's chin.

"I can protect myself, Harry," he muttered firmly. He looked up at Harry, "But who will protect you? Why can't I fight for you Harry?"

"I know you can protect yourself Draco," he chuckled weakly, "Remember when you got me with that hex all those months ago?"

Draco smirked, remembering.

Harry smiled, "You know I'm right Draco. I know you've gotton more stressed lately, more nightmares. Our relatioship has taken its toll on you as well. I know you're worried your father is going to find out. It's becoming more difficult to hide it from him. It'll be easier this way; you can look after your friends and your family much better from their side. If you switch sides, there'll be too much conflict. Not all the dark are evil, you've taught me that. You need to fight for them, I need you to fight for them. And if I don't defeat Voldemort soon, I need you to be my link, their link to a way out if things get too bad."

Draco's body relaxed against Harry's completely in defeat, realising what Harry was trying to say. He reached up and held Harry's face between his hands.

"When all this is over, you're coming back to me Potter. You're mine you hear me? Mine. This little _separation_ you've got in your head, that you think we need, I'll go along with for now, but only because I know how much of a distraction I am," he smirked.

"And you better spend every waking moment training and every sleeping moment dreaming of me," he continued, "And at the end you _will_ defeat Voldemort Harry, and you will _not_ die. Otherwise I won't forgive you for this time we spend apart."

Draco pressed a gentle kiss to Harry's lips that sent warmth and hope through him. He turned out of Harry's embrace to pick up the rest of his clothes, and walked quietly out of the room.

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><p><strong>AN Thank you for reading!** If I have the time and enough ideas I may write the story of Harry and Draco that led up this scene. The more I wrote of this, the more the story seemed to form in my head! But it depends on what sort of feedback I get and whether you think it has potential - or even if if my writing is good enough! I would love any reviews you can give me - advice to improve would be wonderful. If you have any ideas to turn this into a full story, I'd love to hear them! Oh, and also feel free to point out any errors of grammar and/or spelling, and I'll be sure to correct it.

You may find after reading this that you have many questions, since there are many things mentioned in this scene that would suggest there's a much bigger story – this was intentional! So I'm sorry if you're left confused. I wanted to give the impression that Harry and Draco are part of something much bigger. Really, I just wanted to see if I could summarise in a scene the emotions that could be felt between two people that are in love, but who are also sacrificing so much for each other. I hope I've accomplished this.


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